Sorry, late again, just honestly kinda forgot this was Monday for a while this time. But I am here with some recaption, let’s get to it!
At the beginning of the show, Lesnar and Heyman come out as Rey Mysterio is in the ring. Heyman starts to run Rey down when he swipes the microphone away from him. Rey begins to speak in Spanish but he gets about four words in before Lesnar hoists him up for an F-5! Rey’s son Dominik is in the front row and Lesnar is glaring at him from the ring. I don’t really buy that Lesnar would’ve recognized him if he wasn’t scripted to, but in any event, he leaves the ring, still staring. Dominik slowly sits down, looking petrified as Lesnar nears… he grabs him by the collar and tosses him over the barrier! Gets him up, nearly dropping him before slamming him furiously into the newly designed post and tossing him to the floor!
Not done, Lesnar tosses him into the ring! This is wholly unexpected. My God, gets him up and tosses him with a giant German Suplex! A beaten Rey tries to help with a chop block and eats another F-5 for his troubles! Lesnar leaves slowly as Heyman does his shocked shtick once again… but eventually Lesnar turns and leaps back into the ring! Enormous vertical suplex sends Rey all across the ring, and another to Dominik! Impressed by the bumps the kid’s taking, he is soaring. Officials and agents come out to try and stop Lesnar, and start guiding him away, but once more he enters the ring again! Attacks some agents and tosses the Mysterios around… shame Rey hasn’t made any friends in his 17 years in WWE eh?
Chant of “asshole” serenades Lesnar as he tears off his shirt and holds it up like it’s a championship. He then finally makes his leave as the screen fades to commercial. Not a bad opening at all. Might be setting Rey up to challenge for the WWE title after Lesnar presumably wins it this Friday. During the break the Mysterios were stretchered off.
Sasha and Alexa out for a match, and Becky Lynch makes her entrance to come out to commentate, fit with a smokeshow behind her! Looked pretty cool. I did miss pyro in WWE.
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss
Alexa quickly gets Sasha in the corner for a quick pummel, but shortly after gets flipped onto the apron where Sasha forearms her to the floor. Sasha goes up to the middle rope to start bickering at Becky, who in turn stands upon the broadcast table and raises her title. Commercial break, match continues in the inset. Alexa gets a couple arm drags in on a distracted Sasha and an arm wringer aaaaand the commercial was just Batista’s Gears of War ad, we’re already back. Alexa forces Sasha to the floor, tries a baseball slide, but Sasha catches her in the ringskirt and batters her. Becky is still standing on the broadcast table and seems to be preparing for a fight.
Sasha gets the heat on Alexa for a bit until a headscissor takes her headfirst into the corner. Series of clothesline and a judo trip leads to Insult, but Sasha avoids Injury and clotheslines her for a 2 count. Sasha pretends to call for Bayley which seems to distract Alexa and she just nails her for the win.
Winner: Sasha Banks
Afterwards Becky strides down the ramp and a brawl ensues where Sasha ends up bailing. Becky on the mic says Sasha can run now but she won’t get away from her on Sunday. “You made it personal, I’ll make it painful.” She promises retribution is coming around.
By the way an ambulance sound effect blared during that match because the Mysterios were stretchered out. I’d wager maybe four people in the crowd understood that. Found myself laughing.
We see a graphic for Rey/Rollins but Lawler doesn’t think that match is gonna take place now.
Advert for the Firefly Funhouse later tonight.
Raw Tag Team Champs, Ziggler and Roode are out. They’ll be defending their titles against Heavy Machinery up next.
Except not really. Interviewer Girl #1 introduces a replay of last week’s Firefly Funhouse inter-spliced with the Fiend’s intimidation of Seth Rollins. She then speaks with Rollins who swiftly says right now all he can think about is what Lesnar just did to Rey. He says he’s not surprised but he’s disappointed and disgusted because that’s a line you just don’t cross. As for Hell In A Cell, he admits he doesn’t know how to plan for The Fiend. But he’s been doing this too long to go quietly. He promises that somehow he will walk out of the cell with the title.
Rollins then moves onto a cheap pop. He says Rey may not be able to wrestle for the title tonight but when he’s healthy he will be there to give him his shot. As for tonight, he promised the WWE Universe a title match and basically makes an open challenge for it.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Heavy Machinery
Ziggler and TUCKY start off as Dolph tries to make use of his amateur wrestling skills to get an advantage. He wrestles him down for a moment but Tucker breaks out of it. He combat rolls over Ziggler, leading into a dropkick! Tag to Otis, Tucker lifts Dolph up in a suplex and hands him to Otis who somehow keeps him up after nearly losing him and takes him down. Dolph re-takes the advantage, tag to Roode, double team backfires as Otis gets a double clothesline. Tag to Tucker, simultaneous delayed vertical suplexes follow! The big boys hit the ropes and the heels get squashed between them, leading to a hopping chest bump as we go to commercial.
Back from break, Tucker counters a hip toss, unable to be flipped. Tucker hits the ropes and Roode low bridges. Dolph and Roode pummel him on the outside and toss him into the ring. Neckbreaker from Ziggler to Tucker. Roode tagged in, keeps the heat on, Spinebuster gets 2. Double team gutkick as Dolph tags back in. Starts mocking him and shoving him, wants a leaping DDT but Tucker counters with a catapult into the corner! Diving tags on both sides bring in Roode and Otis, and Otis running through everyone. Pop-up takes Ziggler down, Roode tags in and his chops have no effect, no sold with a pelvic thrust. Fallaway Slam sends Roode across the ring. Ziggler runs in, hoisted up, Otis with an airplane scoop slam! DOUBLE CATERPILLAR! Tag to Tucker. Roode hops up off the middle rope in an attempt to fight back, but Otis catches him, Tucker wants the Compactor, but Ziggler sneaks in to get Tucker with the Zig Zag! Roode slips out, Otis gets knocked from the ring, Glorious DDT to Tucker and that’s it.
Winners: Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler
Sorta surprised to see them retain honestly.
The Miz makes his way out for MizTV. He’s got sparks falling from the sky now. Miz says this is the season premiere of MizTV, the most highly anticipated MizTV ever. His first guest is a 16-time world champion and a 2-time WWE Hall of Famer, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. And of course he then introduces Hulk Hogan, who is accompanied by Jimmy Hart, ’cause why not? Ric and Hulk meet face to face and Ric says “I’m over it”. Miz says “We’re not, we’re still soaking up in it!” as the crowd cheers. Miz says “I mean how many times we get to see three legends stand in a WWE ring?” Ric says he loves Miz but he points at Hogan and says “I’ve had to listen to that damn music for 30 years and I’m over it.” Hogan responds with a ‘woo’.
Miz, Hogan and Ric sit down and Jimmy doesn’t get a seat. Miz asks Hulk what it’s like seeing the Nature Boy. “Well let me tell you something brother” Hulk shockingly begins, getting some cheap pops before calling Ric the greatest of all time. Ric says, since he brought it up… Hogan might be recognized as the greatest draw in this company, him and Austin and Taker, but in the ring, nobody touches him! In the squared circle, Flair says he’s got no equal and that includes Hulk. Hogan suggests Ric just wants to take one more run at the 24 inch pythons. Ric grins and takes his jacket off and gets in Hulk’s face. Starts to strut, Hulk rears back, Ric stops in his tracks and Hulk gives him the “YOOOOUUUU” point. They get the mics back and Hulk admits that they’re not spring chickens anymore. The crowd chants “One more match” because they really wanna see these guys die. Hogan says that doesn’t meant they can’t add one more page to the legacy.
Miz has an announcement. October 31st, Crown Jewel, an historic match will see Team Hogan vs. Team Flair. A 5-on-5 tag team match with the two of them as the coaches. Hogan announces his team captain, Seth Rollins – who comes out and he’s got fire in his entrance now! That’s awesome. Rollins is proud to be the captain of Team Hogan and asks Flair “WHATCHA GONNA DO” when they burn it down? Flair quickly announces his own captain… Randy Orton! Well that makes sense. Randy gets in the ring and says he wants Seth’s undivided attention and thus asks him to crawl out of Hogan’s ass for a second. Randy asks Flair for a woo, gets one, then explains that over the next few weeks they’ll get to pick their teammates. But seeing as this is the season premiere, he suggests a Captain’s Match. Rollins says he was looking for this so here’s a match RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
They take the time to roll the carpet out of the ring on TV for once. But before the bell rings, Baron Corbin makes his way out to the ring. Rollins is yelling at him and Randy jumps him from behind! A brawl ensues but Baron sneaks in and gets Rollins with the scepter to the back. Orton and Baron are pummeling him… when Rusev runs out to make the save! Rollins wheel kick to Baron, shoulder thrusts in the corner! Rusev blocks an RKO, Machka Kick! Rollins with a knee lift to Baron, another Machka Kick gets him! Chant of “Rusev Day” as Rollins and Rusev make their way out to Real American hilariously. Looks like Rusev and Baron are the respective first partners.
Oh man they’re bringing back the longest running weekly episodic television show in history line and the comparisons to various other shows. Strangely didn’t see Gunsmoke on there this time.
Interviewer Girl #… 2? I dunno, she asks Rusev a burning question; where’s Lana? Rusev just freezes cold. Man, he’s lost some weight, looking svelte. Rusev says he’s not here to talk about his problems at home, he’s here to talk about Rollins’ problems at work. He was getting pummeled, and only he was man enough to come out and help. So Rollins owes him… and thus he is challenging him for the Universal title here tonight.
AOP vignette plays again. They say they grew up thousands of miles apart but both learned ‘live by the sword, die by the sword’ but the sword is just a metaphor for violence. He who craves the violence learns to lust the violence. There are several lines like this leading into each other, a full-on Yoda diatribe.
Viking Raiders are out now for a match.
Viking Raiders vs. The OC
Anderson and Gallows got the jobber non-entrance, that ain’t great. Anderson pulled out of the corner for knee lifts from each man. Arm hook, power knee to the gut from Ivar. Runs through him, quick pin attempt. Arm wringer holds him down. Gallows is tagged in to take him down, running elbow drop, cover for 2. Ivar ducks two clothesline, tag to Erik, roundhouse kicks lead to a discus forearm. Gallows distracts him, Anderson looks to take advantage but gets the hip toss into a knee lift, taking Anderson out of the ring as we go to commercial.
We come back to see that the OC have taken the advantage, double team Back Suplex/Neckbreaker gets 2. Erik with a forearm to try and break away from Gallows. Tag to Ivar and Anderson, pendulum backbreaker from Ivar, big crossbody splash to the mat! Senton to Anderson in the corner, cartwheel to avoid Gallows, clothesline. Springboard Clothesline/German Suplex follows, Gallows has to break up the pin. I’m glad, that really should be a finish, kinda crazy thing to just do. Gallows tags out as Erik gets him with an exploder. Erik throws hands but Gallows hits the Tree Slam for 2.
Quick break-down occurs, Anderson taken to the outside, Ivar gets him with a suicide dive. Erik takes Gallows down in the ring with a back suplex leading to a frog splash from Ivar and that is it.
Winners: The Viking Raiders
Decent stuff.
Tonight’s main Interviewer Girl says the Mysterios will not be making it back to Raw but Lesnar is still in the building. She claims his actions are criminal. Cesaro pops in and says there’s nothing criminal about it aside from stealing the chance to beat up Rey’s son himself. Ricochet pops up and tells him that he wouldn’t do a damn thing if they were here, ’cause even though Cesaro is eight inches taller than him he doesn’t have half his heart. Cesaro claims to be literally twice Rey’s size. Ricochet challenges Cesaro to a match tonight!
Ricochet vs. Cesaro
Immediate flipping dropkicks take Cesaro down, who is still out in his damn slacks. RIcochet tries a rana, tossed to his feet. Cesaro hits the ropes, Ricochet leap frogs, jumps at him and caught in powerslam position but Ricochet slips out, eats an elbow, hits the ropes, monkey flip takes Cesaro all the way to the floor! Ricochet with a big tope wipes him out! Throws him back in the ring, Ricochet comes off the top, Cesaro catches him out of the air for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2! European Uppercut, another pin, quick kick out. Cesaro with a headlock. Ricochet elbows his way to his feet, hits the ropes, Cesaro hoists him with a military press into a kicking GTS! Nearfall, goodness. Cesaro wants the Neutralizer but Ricochet with a sunset flip, Cesaro too strong to go down, hoists him to his feet, charge to the corner whiffs, Ricochet with the WWE Head Kick, springboard Dragonrana gets the pin!
Winner: Ricochet
Shamefully quick but a fun couple of minutes.
Firefly Funhouse segment and Abigail seems to be crying. All the puppets seem terrified in fact. Ramblin’ Rabbit faints from fear. Bray Wyatt comes out with a campy NOOOOO before picking him up. He confirms that he’s in fact, gone, dead yet again. OH WELL! The other puppets lament the horror that awaits at Hell In a Cell. Bray says for them to calm down – it’s okay to be scared. He admits that he’s scared too. There’s nothing like Hell In A Cell. Imagine a world without chocolate; only worse! It’s a horrible, terrible, awful place built to inflict pain and suffering. It’s a place you can enter but never truly leave, not without emotional and physical scars. And our good friend Seth Rollins will be trapped in there… with him. Buzzy asks what will happen to him. Bray says that HE will always protect this place and HE will come back, no matter what. But he can’t say the same for Seth. He has a very, very bad feeling that HE can’t wait to hurt Seth. But he gets an idea and zips over to ask Him to be nice to Seth Rollins, only to zip right back and laugh, “Just kidding! Let me in.”
US title match is up next.
WWE United States Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs. Cedric Alexander
This amazingly gets a Big Fight entrance. Bell rings and AJ quickly takes Cedric to the corner with a chop. Cedric leapfrogs him, gets him down, cartwheel, basement dropkick! AJ stands, gets a standing dropkick now. Cedric shoves him to the floor. Hits the ropes, wants a tope but AJ hops to the apron to cut him off! Into the ring, Idiot Charge gets him taken facefirst to the second rope! AJ gets Cedric onto his shoulders, basically F-5’s him onto the top rope, planting him on his stomach! Flying forearm strike goes through Cedric on the floor, commercial break.
We come back to see AJ wearing Cedric down in the ring with a side headlock. Cedric gets to his feet, Flatliner! AJ with an idiot charge, eats a leaping knee! Neuralizer connects, AJ tries to fight back with his usual combo but Cedric ducks the spinning backfist and catches him with a wicked elbow! Cedric hoists him up, Detonation Kick gets a nearfall! Dueling chant starts as AJ counters him into his Reverse DDT! Nearfall. Cedric tries to get back into things hoisting him up onto his shoulders, AJ escapes to the apron, Cedric avoids the Phenomenal Forearm, Michinoku Driver for a narrow nearfall! Cedric with the handspring, AJ catches him with a German Suplex! Keeps him hooked, raises him up, Wheelbarrow Facebuster for 2! I think that German was an audible because he caught Cedric a little too wonkily for the wheelbarrow at first, but it was a good save. AJ wants a Styles Clash, Alexander rolls through for a pin attempt, AJ kicks out, Lumbar Check but AJ escapes, directly into a Styles Clash!
Winner: AJ Styles
Helluva match. Could’ve given it twice the time myself but good stuff.
Street Profits applauding backstage. They are gathered here to usher in a new era and answer a question that everyone has been asking. “When are the Street Profits gonna be in action…?” And the answer is LIVE this Wednesday on the USA Network because they are STILL! N! X! T! They cut a quick impassioned promo on taking back their NXT tag titles! Dawkins starts to hype up HIAC but Ford doesn’t want him to mention the Fiend’s name. He claims that if you say the name three times, he appears. Ford wants to cover Dawkins’ mouth but he blocks this, warning of germs. They sing the ‘We Want The Smoke’ after announcing Nattie/Lacey up next.
Lacey Evans vs. Natalya
Lacey in the side headlock, pushes Nattie away, shoulder block. Lacey quickly does her handkerchief taunt. Nattie gets her rope-assisted Back Suplex, runs over her back for the basement dropkick. But Lacey gets control, takes Nattie to the mat, pulls her out to the apron and slams her headfirst brutally into the steps! Back in the ring, Nattie kicks out. Lacey slams her head repeatedly into the mat. Cobra Clutch of sorts starts. Nattie fights to her feet, gets thrown to the corner, elevated Bronco Buster, Nattie dragged to the middle of the ring where she puts the hold back on. Nattie fights up but gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker.
Lacey steps on Nattie as she goes to the corner, goes up top way too slowly and Natalya yanks her off. Idiot Charge whiffed and now Nattie is unleashing in the corner. Ref pulls Nattie away, Lacey charges for a clothesline but gets hit with a Discus Clothesline, one of the better ones Nattie’s ever hit! This is a nearfall. Nattie wants the Sharpshooter, Lacey escapes in the ropes, as the ref is between them Lacey gets Nattie with a rake of the eyes then rolls her up for the win.
Winner: Lacey Evans
Decent match. Quickly after, Lacey nails Nattie with the Woman’s Right.
We are going to hear from Brock Lesnar next.
Interviewer Girl #3 is back with Paul Heyman who claims that you cannot talk to Brock Lesnar. He apologizes for what happened to Rey Mysterio but if you want to blame anyone, don’t blame them; blame Vince McMahon for allowing him to schedule Lesnar for the season premiere of Raw when he knows he’s in fight mode. He says there’s a lot of wannabe tough guys in this business, in mixed martial arts, combat sports, not one of them could do what Lesnar did tonight. He says Kofi Kingston can thank God every day for his talents, but the devil can thank him because Brock Lesnar is lining up victims. He says it, he calls it a spoiler, that Lesnar is going away WWE Champion.
Elsewhere, Interviewer Girl #1 is here with Maria Kanellis, congratulating her on her pregnancy. She says it seems like Rusev has embroiled himself in the family situation. Maria says she can’t believe she’d ask that, claims Rusev is not the father and has enough going on with Lana. Maria leaves and Sasha comes in to forcibly take the mic. She says she will show Becky carnage at HIAC when she makes her tap out. There’s only been two women HIAC matches ever and she was the first. She promises that no man will win her match.
White stretch limo arriving, quite late to the show.
Rusev is in the ring for his title match, as Rollins comes out, Orton and Baron are on the stage.
WWE Universal Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Rusev
Rollins avoids a tie-up, wants an immediate Stomp, Rusev avoids it, wants the Accolade, Rollins scrambles out, tries to throw hands but Rusev no sells. Rollins hits the ropes, but Rusev catches a crossbody and hits a Fallaway Slam. Rollins rolls to the outside, and we go to commercial as the Fiend flashes up with a growl of “Let me in”. We come back to see Rollins being worked over by a bear hug. Idiot charge meets a kick to the head. Blockbuster off the second rope from Rollins! Jerry Lawler is sounding paranoid, sensing that the Fiend is here. Rusev with some shots, Rollins lays in a series of chops. Rollins ducks a clothesline, slingblade! Rollins wants a suplex, Rusev reverses but Rollins lands behind him, low bridge takes Rusev to the floor. Huge suicide dive takes Rusev into the barrier once, twice!
Back in the ring, Rollins goes for a crossbody, Rusev rolls through shakily, Rollins reverses that into a cradle of his own for 2! But Rusev with a kick, Black Hole Slam gets a nearfall! Rollins with a schoolboy, kick out but Rollins gets him with the Avada Kedavra for 2! Rollins struggles mightily to hoist Rusev up but eventually deadlifts him into the air for the Falcon Arrow, solid nearfall! Rollins tries for the Stomp, Rusev aavoids it, shoves him to the apron! Rollins with a springboard, flying in from a long distance only to get caught by the Machka Kick out of the air; but suddenly out comes Bobby Lashley! His first appearance in months after going out with an injury. Bobby is motioning towards the entryway, but it takes quite a while for… Lana to emerge! She’s posing with Lashley? The two hug as Lana kicks her leg back! And they share a kiss, right there on the stage as Rusev looks on in heartbreak. And they’re outright making out now as Rusev watches.
…And during this, the lights start to go down. This is a tone shift if ever there was one. The Fiend appears on the outside and takes the Mandible Claw to Rollins as the lights strobe! For yet another week, the Fiend gets the edge on Rollins.
Aaaaand that’s how we go out. No contest.
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