Jordan Huie of the Overtimer here yet again for tonight’s episode of WWE Raw. Watch this space.
Ric Flair opens the show, he’ll apparently be announcing the final member of his team for Crown Jewel. Ric says “God knows you need a champion, LeBron is gone, you need the Nature Boy.” He isn’t getting boos of course, just less cheers for it. Flair mentions Hogan’s team and says they’re great athletes or they wouldn’t be in pro wrestling, they’re great men or they wouldn’t be in WWE. But they’re not the Nature Boy’s team. He’s got the best hand to play, ask your girlfriend. Flair introduces the fifth man as a badass who’s kissed every girl in this town. It seems like he’s introducing himself.
But in fact, it’s the returning Drew McIntyre, back from injury! Flair announces that Drew will put Team Hogan in the same column as the Cleveland Browns. Drew takes up the mic, says Ric asked for a favor and it’s been granted. He invites Ric to have himself a seat, because things are gonna get uncomfortable. He promises to give a preview of what he’s going to do to Team Hogan at Crown Jewel.
Ricochet’s music hits. This is a match.
Drew McIntyre vs. Ricochet
After a commercial the bell rings and they start throwing forearms until Drew bullies Ricochet to the floor. Tosses him into the barrier. Throw into the ring. Power knife edge chop takes him down, point to Flair who of course loves it. Ricochet is struggling to his feet, just slapped down. Keeps fighting his way up and throwing hands, big punch lays him out again. Drew throws him to the corner, Ricochet bounces off into a big back body drop for a 2 count. Drew keeps pummeling, suplex toss sends him across the ring. Ricochet struggling up with punches but keeps getting cut off. Lands on his feet off the back of a suplex, hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline, wants a springboard crossbody, Drew catches him, Ricochet kicks himself free, back dropped to the apron and knocked off. Drew onto the apron, Ricochet dropkicks the legs out from under him, taking him to the floor. Ricochet into the ring, tope con hilo wipes him out, commercial break.
Drew continues pounding on Ricochet as we come back, Flair goes onto the mic mid-way through to diss Hogan. McIntyre comes off the top for some reason, into a dropkick. This finally starts Ricochet’s comeback, springboard clothesline connects. Running shooting star press for a 1 count, surprisingly. Running elbow in the corner, springboard roundhouse kick, lionsault gets a nearfall! McIntyre swats Ricochet out of the air, Razor’s Edge to the turnbuckle! And then an absolutely destructive sit-out powerbomb, for a narrow nearfall! Geeze. Ricochet fights back with a Jawbreaker, second-attempt enziguri catches him flush!
Ricochet gets Drew on his shoulders momentarily, Drew seems too heavy and escapes but then on the second try Ricochet gets it easy for a DVD! Up top, Shooting Star Press, nearfall! Ricochet right back to the top, 450, Drew rolls away, Ricochet rolls through, goes for the Recoil but Drew catches him and hurls him to the floor! Posts him solidly, Ricochet’s shoulder gets rammed and he rolls into the ring. Drew in as well, starts stalking him! Claymore Kick, that’s the end.
Winner: Drew McIntyre
As you’d expect, pretty good stuff, about as good as you’d generally get in a Raw match.
Afterwards, McIntyre attacks Ricochet. Headbutts him, posts him, brings back the old Future Shock DDT just to spike him onto his head. Hooks his legs and pulls him from the ring, got him hung upside down here. Inverted Alabama Slams him onto the steel steps! McIntyre’s music plays as he mocks Hogan’s ear-cupping taunt in the ring.
XFL’s Cardale Jones is in the crowd. Finally, it begins, the first plug…
Recap of last week’s issues between the OC and the Street Profits. Interviewer Girl #1 is back with the OC. Anderson says that he and Gallows are one of the most decorated tag teams in history and the Street Profits are rookies. They aren’t gonna be handed anything, they haven’t earned anything. And they shouldn’t be given this unofficial role as the hosts of Raw when the OC are the most charismatic ones here. AJ mentions that they want the smoke, well the Smoke is illegal here in Cleveland morons! This upsets Gallows who says Cleveland doesn’t rock, Cleveland sucks! AJ agrees; just like the Street Profits! “Now throw it up you motherlovers!” he declares before they all Too Sweet each other.
Hey look at that a video package for new talent. Andrade, Buddy Murphy and Aleister Black highlighted.
We see Aleister backstage. He says that he likes to think there’s a reason to his malice. That one day all this strife will provide him with an answer as to why. But at the same time this side of him provides him with a hellfire-like rage and it’s beyond redemption. And it’s clawing at him as he speaks like a mad man dancing in the moonlight. The boy isn’t ready to pick a fight.
Aleister comes out after a commercial. Clear jabroni named Jason Reynolds awaits in the ring.
Aleister Black vs. Jason Reynolds
Lock-up, Aleister with a headlock. Taken to the corner. Jason doesn’t give the clean break, Aleister floats over out of the corner, leg kicks clip Jason, legsweep trips him towards the corner, Black sits cross-legged. Black flips back to avoid a clothesline, Jason grabs him by the hair only to get a spinning back elbow. Jason throws clubbering blows and kicks. Aleister pops up with vicious palm strikes and a jumping knee, Black Mass totally misses the chin but he pins him anyway.
Winner: Aleister Black
Replay nicely shows that Black Mass from behind where it doesn’t look so bad. I guess I’d rather you miss than actually knock someone out…
AOP vignette plays. Newest tag team signed to Monday Night Raw. They of course claim no team on Raw is hard enough to fight us. Raw signed them to keep them from SmackDown. Describe themselves as a move from SmackDown. They claim to be very violent men. The next chapter in the history of tag team wrestling will be written in blood, I kinda doubt that. And it will be written by the Authors of Pain, how are we still not done with these? I was sure they’d announce they were finally debuting.
Jerry Lawler is here for a King’s Court segment, he introduces Rusev. Jerry says this is tough to talk about, he thinks everyone would agree what goes on inside a marriage should stay inside that marriage. But in this case, everyone involved is a public figure. Lana and Lashley have made everything public and Jerry doesn’t know how Rusev has withstood everything he’s seen so far. They’ve said things like maybe Rusev has sent too much money back to his relatives, and cut back on how much money Lana’s spent on herself. There are “What” chants and Rusev defends him, saying he’s a Hall of Famer.
Rusev says it’s all Lashley’s fault. Bald Lashley has poisoned Lana’s brain and for that he will be crushed. As far as Lana’s concerned, he may be a fool but he still wears his wedding ring because everyday he hopes and prays that they’re gonna pass through this and end up happily ever after.
Lashley and Lana of course interrupt through another video, they seem to be on a date at a restaurant. Lashley says he won’t make the same mistakes Rusev did, Lana has needs and he’ll 100% make sure he takes care of them. Lana says Rusev probably doesn’t recognize this restaurant, even though she always asked him to take her here. But Lashley fulfills all her dreams. Lashley says this isn’t New Year’s Eve, but as the saying goes, out with the old and in with the new. They each say that they love each other. Video gets a lot of boos once it ends. Jerry asks for a response, Rusev says he’d like the deliver the message personally… because he knows exactly where they are! Rusev leaves the ring and guns it down the ramp.
Andrade and Zelina Vega out now. Zelina says Andrade is a diamond and if anyone should know that it’s Sin Cara. She explains that Sin Cara means “without a face”. And tonight he’ll not only be without a face, he’ll be without a victory, because he will never be Andrade.
Andrade vs. Sin Cara
Running dropkick takes Andrade to the floor, suicide dive wipes him out! Throws Andrade into the ring, big crossbody for 1. Big chop. Humberto Carrillo is backstage with Psychosis-looking gear. Sin Cara with a forearm, chases Andrade into the ring but Zelina grabs him by the ankle, and Andrade takes advantage to batter him. Throws him to the corner, whips him around, backbreaker and reverse DDT for 2. Spinning headscissor takedown takes Andrade to the floor! Sin Cara up top, big moonsault to the floor! Commercial break.
We come back, Sin Cara gets the boots up on an idiot charge. Evades an elbow in the corner. Sin Cara blocks a punch and sends shots and chops. Springboard crossbody! Andrade reverses a whip but Sin Cara gets the springboard moonsault press for 2. Andrade with a knee to the gut, hits the ropes only for Sin Cara to get him with a spinning Samoan Drop! Goes up top, wants his Swanton but Andrade avoids it, Sin Cara rolls through, drop toe hold takes him to the buckle! Andrade tries for his Meteora, Sin Cara avoids it, headscissor attempt ends up countered into a facebuster for 2! Triple suplexes, nearfall.
Andrade goes up top, Sin Cara cuts him off. Pursues despite Andrade’s blows. Sin Cara wants a superplex… tossed to the apron but lands on his feet. Andrade wants to pull him up the side way, but Sin Cara stops him, leaps in for the Sunset Flip Powerbomb, nice! Nearfall. Andrade fights him into the corner, Meteora, nearfall. Andrade hits the ropes, Sin Cara back body drops him to the floor! Tope headscissor takedown, my goodness! Throws Andrade into the ring, Zelina distracts him as he goes to the apron, Andrade with a hot shot, distracts the ref as Zelina flies off the apron with a Dragonrana! Andrade throws Sin Cara into the ring, Hammerlock DDT puts him away.
Winner: Andrade
Good match! Shocked to see Sin Cara show out that much and I’d have probably given him a squash win or two first before this happened but can’t ever complain about seeing a good match.
Humberto is talked to backstage. Says he has a lot of respect for Sin Cara but Andrade could be a future Universal Champion, unless he beats him. Humberto also hopes to be a champion, though not the kind of champion that sets things on fire like Seth Rollins.
Street Profits talk on what the OC were saying earlier tonight. They mock AJ’s soccer moon hair and their 90s gestures. They say they might be some motherlovers but mothers love the Street Profits more. Tonight, the Street Profits are main eventing Monday Night Raw! Ford asks Dawkins about their partner, and he exclaims that it’s a surprise! Ford guesses Ric Flair, who is already at the after-party. Booker T, Kurt Angle, also turned down. Dawkins says all he needs to know is that he doesn’t like AJ Styles. They inform us that they want the smoke.
R-Truth is sneaking around backstage with his 24/7 title. He bumps into one of the Singh brothers. He distracts him with a Bollywood song as the other rolls him up. Truth exclaims that he’s either seeing double or there were two of them.
Viking Raiders are out. Interviewer Girl #2 talks to Hawkins and Ryder. “Some people are saying you’re the underdogs!” Wow, you don’t say? Ryder says he’s grateful for the opportunity. Hawkins says Crown Jewel is a huge one as well. Soon people will stop calling them underdogs and start calling them winners! Ryder asks if they’ll have pyro tonight? Hawkins says only one way to find out. They make their entrance aaaand nope.
The Viking Raiders vs. Hawkins & Ryder (Non-title)
Erik plows through Ryder, throws him right at Hawkins. Erik picks up Ivar, sends him butt-first into Ryder. Ivar with a suicide dive to Hawkins! Ryder off the second rope with a missile dropkick! Isolation commences. Hawkins gets Erik down with a headlock. Quick tags and blows. Erik with a huge forearm. Tag to Ivar who comes in with a shoulderblock, pendulum side slam. Hawkins evades him, senton, cartwheel dodge to a clothesline to Ryder. Tag to Erik, Ivar bodyslams Hawkins, Erik slams Ivar onto him, Ryder breaks up the pin. Erik looks pissed and Ryder looks remorseful. Inverted hip toss into a driving knee. Pop-up powerslam Viking Experience, that’s it.
Winners: The Viking Raiders
We then cut to see Lana and Lashley at their table, someone comes and asks that they leave. They’d heard that Lana’s husband might be coming and he doesn’t want any trouble. Lashley says Rusev doesn’t have the balls to come here, as Lana would know.
Rey Mysterio is backstage.
We then see Rusev barging into the restaurant and attacking Lashley. He brings him quickly to the ground and starts choking him out as Lana screams. Lana has a shoe, better watch out! The two are separated. Rusev gets dragged away.
Wow, they tried to play this straight. That totally sucks, I was hoping for a Stone Cold/Booker T supermarket brawl styled segment, no fight in the kitchen? No callback spot where Rusev throws a fish right into Lashley’s face from twenty yards away? Depressing.
Rey out now. He says he’s been training Cain Velasquez to beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE title at Crown Jewel. He came out here tonight to simply say to everyone here live and everyone watching on TV, thank you. Thank you from him, from his son Dominik, from his entire family. The outpouring of love that he’s experienced and his family has experienced… a short chant of “Thank You Rey” and “You Deserve It” comes up. It’s not really loud but it’s one of very few chants of the night so Rey let’s it go. Rey says this was back when he was thinking about retiring. But the outpouring of love that you’ve shown has humbled him and he’s honored. Because you guys are his family. Which is why they will all celebrate together at Crown Jewel when Cain Velasquez wins the WWE title and puts another scar on the face of that bastard Brock Lesnar.
Paul Heyman flashes on screen with a little Spanish. He asks if he’d really speak those words if Brock Lesnar were live in Cleveland this evening. Because he knows that Lesnar can’t be live on WWE Raw, because he’s been drafted to SmackDown. Of course Heyman can’t be drafted anywhere, he’s just a humble advocate, allowing him to send a message to Rey. He brings up Cain beating, bloodying, victimizing and scarring up Brock Lesnar, and you think it’ll happen again at Crown Jewel? It’s not. And here’s why, because every single solitary morning for the last nine years when Brock Lesnar goes and looks into the mirror he sees the scar that has been carved into his soul. And for every single day Brock Lesnar has been salivating like a beast lusting for revenge. That revenge comes on October 31st when Rey serves up Cain Velasquez on a silver platter like dinner to Paul’s beast. He says “Get this into your thick head!”
Rey cuts him off and cuts a quick promo in Spanish. Shelton Benjamin then cuts Rey off, saying he needs to get something through his own head. Rey and his son gets annihilated by the beast and Cain walks in here because they can’t defend themselves? He gets a championship opportunity because of that? Rey says it’s a family thing, which Shelton mocks. Shelton says he’s got a secret. He has a buddy too: the beast, Brock Lesnar. He says he trained Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar is his family. And aside from Heyman, nobody in WWE knows Lesnar more than him. Rey says he’s got it twisted but Benjamin says he’s got it figured out. He wants a theory to see what happens if he pushes him around.
Shelton starts shoving him around, asking if it’ll get him opportunities. Bullies the still injured Rey into the corner and asks where his buddy is as he slaps him a few times. Cain’s music hits and he comes out to interrupt this. Cain stands toe-to-toe with Shelton. Shelton tries to double leg him but it’s block! Cain takes him down and pummels him from behind! Waistlock takedown, bodyshots! Now he has him by the neck, throws him to the outside. Shelton favoring his throat.
Interviewer Girl #1 backstage with Seth Rollins. Rollins says maybe the Fiend has gotten inside his head, or maybe he’s gotten inside of his head! He did find his way inside the Firefly Funhouse, did he not? He said the Fiend is different, there’s an aura about him that he can’t explain. Once you’re inside the ring with the Fiend, you’re changed forever… he stops and starts walking through the backstage corridor as a CM Punk chant starts.
Rollins confronts Humberto and says he did burn down the Firefly Funhouse, he didn’t want to but he had to. He says being champ isn’t always about making popular decisions, it’s about making the right decisions. He welcomes him to Monday Night Raw and asks, “Why don’t you have your first match against the Universal champion… tonight?”
We see a video of a damn parade they put on in Saudi Arabia, fit with huge statues of The Undertaker and Roman Reigns.
Seth Rollins vs. Humberto Carrillo (Non-title)
Humberto with a quick roll-up, series of deep arm drags! Hip toss from Rollins, gets him in a headscissor, Seth reverses and gets him with a neck crank until Humberto gets to the ropes. Double leg into a Single Leg Boston Crab, Humberto gets to the ropes again. “We want Wyatt” chant whispered through the arena. Rollins shoots him off a headlock, Humberto hits the ropes, several dodges, Carrillo gets the advantage with a springboard arm drag! Runs at him, Seth pops him up and Humberto with several hops on the ropes, into a twisting crossbody! Rollins takes Humberto to the floor, vicious suicide dive takes him into the barrier! Toss to the corner barrier, snap suplex onto the floor! Commercial break.
Good action to an uncomfortably quiet crowd so far. This is basically 205 Live. We come back to see Rollins take Humberto down in the ring with an elbow, yelling ‘c’mon Humberto!’ The commentators are beginning to note the uncharacteristicness of this and talk about how everything is getting into his head right now. Humberto with a big enziguri kick, handspring Japanese arm drag takes him up from the mat! Big corkscrew tope takes Seth into the barrier. Throws him into the ring, missile dropkick off the top rope whiffs! Seth gets him with a Falcon Arrow for 2. Rollins with a springboard knee to the face! Nearfall.
Humberto tries for a rana to comeback, Rollins counters with a Buckle Bomb! Avada Kedavra, nearfall! Rollins looks impressed. Seth starts a-stomping along, looks for the Stomp, Humberto evades, roll-up for 2! Big knee to the face, leaping spinning roundhouse kick, huge implant DDT! Humberto sets Rollins up, goes up top, pretty moonsault hits! Nearfall! Carrillo up top again, another moonsault but Rollins gets the boot up. This sets up The Stomp, that’s all.
Winner: Seth Rollins
Real good match, in front of a dead crowd as we’ve seen with pretty much the whole show. It’s really standing out how literally nobody feels like a star right now, atleast on Raw.
Afterwards, Seth gets into the ring as Humberto fights to his feet. Seth offers his hand. Humberto takes it, show of sportsmanship.
R-Truth is going around backstage with a ref, finds the Bollywood Boys. Sneaks up, goes for a roll-up but he has the wrong one. I started writing that before I saw that I was correct. Bollywood Boys start yelling in Bollywood as they sidestep away. Truth is stunned and asks, “So there really are two of them?!”
Firefly Funhouse returns on SmackDown because of course it does. It was just burned down in Raw continuity.
Street Profits are out and parading through the crowd as per usual, nice to see them bring this to Raw. OC emerge and AJ asks where the third person is. “Did you not find anybody? Were you lying to us?” AJ speculate that perhaps he’s invisible, perhaps he’s imaginary? They then show their beatdown of the Profits from last week again. Commercial break before we see who their partner is.
The OC vs. The Street Profits
The bell rings and we in fact have a handicap match here. Or rather, it seems AJ is at ringside and this is just a straight tag? Ford gets the advantage early and Anderson is taken to the floor. Back in for a big dropkick. Anderson bails. Thrust kick to the gut, whip to the ropes, Dawkins with a shoulder block after tagging in, back suplex. Anderson rushes up to the corner, tag to Gallows. Dawkins ducks a clothesline, shoulder block. Tons of body shots in the corner, Gallows with a roundhouse kick takes him to the mat. Gallows pummels Dawkins in the corner. Armwringer in the center of the ring. Dawkins avoids a tackle, tag to Ford who comes in with a double foot stomp to Anderson’s back, flies all across the ring. AJ with the distraction, Anderson with an attack from behind gets Ford to the floor. Commercial break.
We come back to see Gallows taking Ford to his feet with an arm wringer. Ford with punches to escape but Gallows cuts him off, throws him to the OC corner. But Ford escapes with elbows, leaps for the tag but Gallows catches him, twists him around, fallaway slam. Sharp kick to the gut. Tag to Anderson who just goes for a cover. Anderson gets him in a chinlock, takes him down to the mat. Ford is double teamed in the corner. Gallows tags in, whips him to the ropes, Ford gets a kick off a back body drop attempt, double clothesline spot seems them both fall. Anderson tags in as Ford crawls over, Anderson with a back suplex but Ford lands on his feet. He takes Gallows off the apron, then side steps to send Anderson to the floor.
He desperately crawls over, leaps, tag to Dawkins who comes in with a series of clotheslines to Anderson. Gallows comes in to get a dropkick! Big shoulderblock sends Anderson flying, running bulldog takes him down. Spinning avalanche splashes to Anderson and Gallows in opposing corners. Ford goes up top and tags in, OC break up a double team attempt, Gallows pulls Dawkins out of the ring, Ford is taken off the top rope and pulled into a wicked spinebuster for a nearfall. Anderson throws Ford to the outside. Ref is distracted for a moment as AJ puts Ford into a reverse chinlock, ref spots him as AJ releases. Ref calls for the ejection… as Kevin Owens’ theme hits and he comes out to stun AJ?! Spinebuster from Dawkins to Anderson, Ford with a big frog splash and that’s that.
Winners: Street Profits
Alright then.
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