Ladies and gentlemen, Jordan Huie of the Overtimer here to give you the live recap of results of the one, the only, the Kickoff! That’s right, the WWE TLC Kickoff Show is in process as I type. I’ll be here to let you know what goes down on the show before the show!
After a ridiculous TMZ-style recap of Lashley, Lana and Rusev’s issues, we speak to Lashley and Lana who put all the blame for this situation with Rusev. David Otunga gets all lawyer-ly and asks if they’re concerned about the legality of their situation and Lana completely misses the question and pretends he’s being a psychiatrist. They tell the panel that they’re the victims here and they all have issues of their own.
Revival come up on the panel, boasting about being multi-time tag champs, and burying Booker T for disrespecting them, hilariously daring him to bring Stevie Ray back and make a Revival vs. Harlem Heat match a thing.
Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo
Carrillo with a waistlock, Andrade with a back elbow, standing dropkick, big chop in the corner. Whip to the opposite corner, Running High Knee nailed flush! Cover for 1. Shoots him to the ropes, back body drop, Andrade poses triumphantly. Andrade whips him to the ropes, Humberto catches himself, back elbow. Springboard Lucha Arm Drag takes Andrade to the floor. Wants his triangle moonsault, but Andrade hops up and shoves him to the floor! Stupid Unnecessary Pre-Show Commercial with the match in the inset ensues. Andrade batters Humberto around the floor. And we’re already back as Andrade throws Humberto into the ring and stomps him down.
Andrade steps up onto the bottom rope, rope-assisted cross armbreaker! Has to break on 4, running kick to the face! Forearm from Andrade, arm wringer takedown. Focusing on that arm. Humberto fights up, Jawbreaker! Tries for the enziguiri but it’s missed. Spinning Headscissors takes him down though! Humberto evades an Idiot Charge, Andrade’s high knee hits the top buckle and he collapses to the floor! Another dumb commercial plays. Humberto and Andrade trading forearms and punches, Andrade with a big chop in the ropes. Whip, Carrillo lands on his feet off a back body drop attempt, springboard crossbody! Dragon Whip!
Humberto with a standing moonsault attempt, Andrade rolls out of the way, Humberto lands on his feet, Andrade with a roll-up takes Humberto headfirst into the bottom buckle! Andrade wants the Meteora, but Humberto charges with him, huge running dropkick! Andrade bails, Humberto hits the ropes, beautiful tope! Throws him into the ring, cover for a nearfall! Andrade with a waistlock, back elbow, Humberto drapes his leg over the top rope! Goes up top, missile dropkick takes him to the mat, cover for a nearfall! Humberto up top again, Andrade stops him! Pursues him, but Carrillo with a big forearm! Exchange, Andrade wins out, Carrillo hung in the tree of woe over the apron! Andrade with the Double Footstomp takes him right onto the apron! Something of a “Holy Shit” chant as Andrade throws Humberto into the ring and covers for a nearfall!
“This is Awesome” chant, don’t hear them on the pre-show much. Andrade wants a suplex, Humberto lands on his feet, enziguri missed, back body drop met with a kick, Andrade with a big lariat! Andrade has a cut on his eye. Seems to be swelling already! Andrade with the boot up off a charge, goes up top, Humberto with a WWE Headkick to stop him! Pursues… Andrade knocks him to the canvas, but Humberto with a Springboard Enziguri takes him to the canvas! Humberto pulls him up, back body drop sends Humberto spinefirst into the buckles! Andrade nails the Meteora! Pulls him in, cover for a nearfall! Hammerlock DDT, Humberto escapes, throws him to the ropes where Zelina is standing, stops himelf, Andrade charges and Humberto evades, Humberto wants a roll-up but Andrade reverses it for a nearfall! Andrade goes up top… Humberto pursues… SUPER POISON RANA?!?!?! Humberto back up top, gorgeous moonsault and that is that!
Winner: Humberto Carrillo
Well! That might’ve been pre-show match of the year! Damn that was some craziness, hope Andrade’s eye is okay. Looks like he just lost a boxing match.
Andrade arguing with Zelina again and leaves without her.
That seems to about do it for tonight’s WWE TLC Kickoff show, main card page coming up any minute now!
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