Squash matches aren’t a lost art even though they’re not as common as they once were on wrestling’s main shows. Often, there are short matches that are perceived as squashes now.
We’ll be looking at several squash match masters over the coming weeks via three must-watch squashes. Some are awful in execution while others are just awful for the beatings put on people.
In the of Ahmed Johnson, it’s a lot from column A and some from column B—yet always entertaining. The matches featured are available on YouTube with some below.
Ahmed Johnson Debuts Against Jake Steel (WWE Superstars, 10/23/95)
This was Johnson’s WWE television debut and as WWE did back then, he was given a local jobber to run through to show how impressive he was.
I’ll admit, this was actually one of his better squashes. Some stuff looked a bit sloppy but cleaner than his later squashes. The velocity bounce from that spinebuster was a nice touch. Another nice touch was Shawn Michael’s quick picture-in-picture promo and the Double Feature replay of said spinebuster.
I’ll give Johnson credit that most of the time, the cleanest thing he hit was his Pearl River Plunge. You have to at least pull your finisher off properly, right?
Johnson MAULS David Haskins (WWE Superstars, 04/30/96)
Haskins came into this one resembling David Sammartino with 1993 Jerry Lawler hair. Yes, that’s the first thing I noticed. He got some offense in on Ahmed but that didn’t last long and the beating began.
Wrestlers are tough folks but Johnson’s unexpected nimbleness with his kicks had to leave some guys short of breath and weak-kneed. Like no one expected a dude his size to be landing pump kicks in the 90s.
Then he ended David Haskins’ second wind of offense with some overhead punch that looked vicious. However, there is an even worse beating coming up.
Johnson Runs Through Tim Patterson (WWE Superstars, 04/02/96)
Man Patterson got his ass beat in this one. Johnson had this guy in the corner and did some kind of Ultimate Warrior-esque stomps with the “fired up” spins. Then he ran at the dude and did a crossbody, sending himself over the top rope at full speed and knocking Patterson over the top as well.
That would’ve been a fine in Bill Watts’ WCW!
Patterson had nowhere to run or hide on the outside where the beating resumed. Then he ate two hideous-looking kicks from the big man during this match.
Vince was on commentary and gave him the old “Nicely done” on his stiff, Bedrock Spinebuster. That was all spine and all thud but it always sets up for the Pearl River Plunge—which was…iffy. It wasn’t sloppy but it didn’t look that good either. Let’s say it was perfectly acceptable.
Follow this column as next time we’re looking at Yokozuna!
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