Are you guys ready to hand Kane some more Ls? Great! This time we’re looking at Kane’s family history—mainly his origin story and how it changed in just a year from his debut.
Kane: The Bastard Son
First off, you can’t discuss Kane’s origin story without going into The Undertaker’s. When Taker showed up, he was just a big, Old West-looking undertaker accompanied by a funeral director. I don’t why Paul Bearer wore a suit and tie and looked as if he was from a modern—for the 90s—timeline while Taker looked like he was survived time travel into the future, but here we are, folks.
The Big L Machine: From the First Feud I Learned That The Undertaker Lied By Omission and Kane Was A Scammer
When Kane was en route to WWE, Paul Bearer wanted to work with The Undertaker who had moved on from his devious ways with the macabre manager. Bearer basically began gaslighting The Undertaker about his younger brother whom Taker believed was dead.
His former manager assured him that Kane was very much alive and harbored ill-will towards The Undertaker for burning their funeral home, killing their parents, and scarring him. Taker defended himself by saying that Kane was a bit of a firebug and burned the place down accidentally.
Eventually, Bearer who had been proving for Kane’s stay in an asylum brought him to the WWE to battle his brother. Or should we say, half-brother? That’s right, in his campaign to harass Taker, he also revealed that he had an affair with Mama Taker and Kane was his son.
So, The Undertaker was taken care of by Paul Bearer doing time in juvenile for taking the blame for the fire while Bearer secretly provided for Kane’s mental treatment for years. However, that doesn’t explain why Taker was with Brother Love when he was raised by Bearer…or if he was raised by him.
There are noticeable holes in the Brothers of Destruction lore.
The Undertaker, Kane, and Paul Bearer Are All Scammers and Criminals
Let’s break all of this down to reveal how they are all bad people and why Kane deserves the L here. First, Paul Bearer was raising two brothers involved in a tragedy separately—after piping their mother.
Bearer allowed for one brother to harbor resentment towards the other while the other lived with regret thinking his entire family was dead. Taker took the blame for the whole thing and Paul’s long game began as Bearer loved their mother and wanted Taker to pay?
Anyway, he doesn’t get an L here since he achieved his goal but he is in fact a dirtbag and a blackmailer. I mean, he did sit and chuckle with Jerry Lawler about clapping the long-deceased Mrs. Taker’s cheeks, after all.
The Undertaker gets an L for taking the blame and being a pawn in the same way that Kane is. Wait! A year later in 1998, Taker admits that he lied on Kane and actually set the fire himself.
Not only that but he did it on purpose! I’m reverting L but I can’t give him a W, dude’s an arsonist and a murderer. However, he was able to fly free for years after committing such a crime. WWE gets an L for hiring a murderer and blackmailer. Whether Kane actually did it or The Undertaker did, they’ve got a murderer on the roster.
That said, The Undertaker was brought in under Jack Tunney’s commissionership. So, we’re going to file him under “murderer”. Finally, we have Kane. Oof. The homie Kane is just an L magnet, folks.
First, he’s locked away because of his brother’s crime and deals with all kinds of mental and physical anguish. Then he gets used by Paul Bearer which sets up a bunch of toxic relationships and partnerships in WWE going forward.
He also commits vandalism and desecration of a corpse after destroying their parents’ tombstones and burning their burial grounds. What an unfilial, scumbag son. Finally, Kane wore his mask for years before finally unmasking and revealing he’s not scared at all and was probably never physically scarred.
This makes Kane a degenerate, a liar, and a scammer. Let’s give him another L just because and WWE for hiring yet another degenerate.
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