When you’ve watched wrestling for a long time, you start to notice some odd stuff about the parts of some gimmicks. Something just doesn’t make sense logically even though you, as a fan, know why this decision was made. Case in point: The Undertaker and his urn.
The urn had two glaring issues in relation to the Undertaker’s character but we all know why certain creative decisions were made. Let’s look at the two issues and one minor problem.
First: The Power of the Undertaker is In This Urn That Doesn’t Seem All That Secure
So, for years it was said that the urn was the key to the Undertaker’s powers. Apparently, he couldn’t use his powers without it although that isn’t true. Also, do his powers upgrade with time? Before he just had the power to raise the lights but never dim them—which is a bit of a household power.
In wrestling, being the Clapper without having the clap isn’t useful but in your home? That’s an amazing power. Even better for Taker being able to throw lightning bolts. I’m guessing he got the upgrade in powers with the Attitude Era patch and it was dormant.
However, the urn being the seat of his power just pointed out the boss’ weak spot for everyone. Also, while the top never came off of the original urn, this thing didn’t seem all that safe to be storing…the powers of darkness and lightning in. If anything, this was another safety hazard OK’d by Jack Tunney–the worst official in WWE history.
Not only that…
You Have a Dumpy Weirdo with Zero Defense and No Intimidation Factor Handle the Urn…Which Is an Unsafe Container Holding the Undertaker’s Powers
Now, Paul Bearer has always had the best hands in WWE because there’s no way that I’d trust both my weakness and the vessel holding my powers to Paul Bearer. It’s not that he seems untrustworthy but if someone wanted that urn, what is Paul going to do?
Imagine: you’re early 90s Undertaker, you’ve got the mobility of Jason Voorhees after putting off knee replacement surgery for 11 years. Someone runs up on Bearer, shakes him down, and takes the urn. Did you expect him to hold on to it? Did Paul Bearer expect you to stop what you were doing and rescue the urn? What was he going to do? Interrupt you during your match to do his job for him?
Honestly, the rock that Catalina held in Lucha Underground to control Mil Muertes was more secure.
Going back to our first point: why have such an obvious weakness and have someone squishy, someone easy to bowl over—an easy lick—handle your prized artifact? Of course, this left things open for one of many of Undertaker’s chase and retrieve quests over the urn but it just seems as though they should leave it in the trunk or in the hotel room.
Why bring something so valuable to a company that had a whole-ass kleptomaniac—the Repoman—running wild not too long ago? Maybe he had urn insurance didn’t fear it getting stolen but why go through such efforts to get it back when you’ve actively put in a dangerous situation by giving it to a guy who technically shouldn’t be able to hold on to it?
Minor Reason: It’s Your Parents’ Urn, Dude…You’re Not Marisela Pena. This Isn’t a Lucha Libre AAA PPV
First, they just mixed the Undertaker’s parents’ ashes together in one urn as if they’re mixing packets of Koolaid to get a rad flavor. Secondly, he’s bringing the memento of his dead parents/his trophy for killing them to ringside? You know, where all the chaos happens along with the mentioned thief?
Let’s not even mention the non-occupational thieves in WWE at this time. People were constantly stealing, assaulting, kidnapping, breaking and entering, and vandalizing in the company! The Undertaker’s urn was never safe and it’s a wonder why he’d bring his parents’ ashes to the ring and trust zero defense-having Paul Bearer to wield it.
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