Jordan Huie of the Overtimer here to give you the live blow-by-blow on another episode of WWE SmackDown as it occurs! This one comes to us from FS1 due to the MLB World Series pre-empting them from FOX. You can see my preview of the show here. Watch this space!
We begin the show with MizTV, where Miz is surrounded by Team Hogan and Team Flair. He considers this the most prestigious MizTV ever with his guests SHORTY G IS IN SUCH A CUTE LITTLE BASKETBALL OUTFIT LOOKIT HIM! Miz of course introduces each of them. Notes Raw’s Rusev and Ricochet as the team mates who couldn’t be here, before naming Ali, Shorty G and Roman Reigns. For Flair, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley and Randy Orton are missing. But Shinsuke’s here, with Sami Zayn accompanying him, and King Corbin as well. Hogan has one question for Flair; whatcha gonna do when Team Hogan destroys you?
Flair says there’s no love lost for him, and now he has the Big Dog with him? Seems to suggest that he and Orton both have such egos they shouldn’t be able to both exist. Flair says they’re going down. Hogan demands he check the history books because he never beat him and they’re not gonna beat Team Hogan now. He puts over Shorty’s heart, the athletic prowess of Ali and Ricochet, the brute strength of Rusev, and says like JYD would say, every dog needs a bone to chew on, and Team Flair look like perfect bones for Roman Reigns. Sami Zayn chides Gable’s new ringname, fairly, and says that he could stand on Ali’s shoulders and still wouldn’t be half the man that Shinsuke is. Shorty G says that he’s embraced who he is and he will silence all the doubters at Crown Jewel. Ali says he doesn’t need to pay any attention to Sami, he doesn’t even compete anymore he’s just a mouthpiece, which is ironic considering how bad his breath stinks.
This offends Baron for some reason who tells him that he’s in the presence of a king. Corbin claims that Crown Jewel was named in his honor and he will take the Nature Boy’s team to victory. Corbin says this is his kingdom now, and you will bow to him. They don’t need a hero, they need a ruler and he will rule with an iron fist. Reigns tells Corbin to shut up. Tells him he isn’t a real king, has a stupid crown, a stupid cape and a stupid scepter. And he likes it when he looks stupid but they don’t like it when he says stupid stuff, and the only way to fix that is to punch him in the mouth. G’s into this.
Hogan says there’s three of them on each side, and suggests giving everyone a preview right here tonight. Sami says they will take the offer under advisement, they’ll think about it and bail. Hogan then spells out what they already just challenged, calls Shinsuke a nii-ban young boy. Sami says he accepts, but he tweaked his neck on the flight over and as a result he is on the Do-Not-Touch list. But there is someone in the back that he has a close personal relationship with who has been dying for an opportunity for months and he will graciously allow him to take his spot… it’s Cesaro!
And a brawl ensues outside the ring! Team Hogan win out and stand tall in the ring.
Big E and Kofi Kingston are walking backstage, with the injured Xavier on video chat.
Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler vs. The New Day
Kofi with a Shuriken in the corner to counter a charge, goes up top, Roode knocks him off and somehow we already have another commercial break. That opening segment went long I guess, which should be no surprise. We come back to see Belly to Bellies from E in the ring. He gyrates over Ziggler, Roode tries to distract, Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag but E hangs on to the ropes to send him flying. Tag to Kofi, E pops Kofi up for a plancha to Ziggler! But Roode gets a Spinebuster on E in the ring. Kofi with a springboard double axe handle takes Roode to the outside, and Ziggler just rolls up Kofi for a very sudden win.
Winners: Roode & Ziggler
The celebration swiftly ceases when the Revival emerge, and the two teams gang up on New Day. Heavy Machinery out to even up the odds! Roode and Ziggler are sandwiched in the corner, one avalanche after another! Dash and Dawson are dumped to the outside, face teams stand tall.
Just a quick excuse segment for pushing this tag turmoil at Crown Jewel.
Lacey Evans is out as a jobgirl waits in the ring. Lacey says she has far too much respect for herself as a woman and an athlete to even entertain the idea of competing with this nasty thing. She knows what she’s thinking, wondering just how bad Lacey Evans is gonna beat her up. But she says she’s gonna walk out of this ring and keep walking. After all nobody here deserves to see her in action anyhow. Asks the ref to start the match and indeed just goes out to the apron and strolls down the stairs.
Lacey Evans vs. Cameron Connors
Ref counts Lacey up to 8 as Cameron seems really excited at the prospect of the easy win, but Lacey runs in at the last second and gives her the Woman’s Right.
Winner: Lacey Evans
Alright then.
We have an interview with Nikki Cross. Cole quotes Bayley’s chastizing of the women’s division. Nikki says Bayley is feeling the pressure of being champion and she’s happy to help her with that problem by taking the title off her hands. Nikki says Mandy is gorgeous but this isn’t a beauty pageant, this is Friday Night SmackDown! See you soon.
Firefly Funhouse returns up next.
We open with a portrait of Ramblin’ Rabbit, at what seems to be his funeral. Yes, he’s actually dead this time I suppose. Bray is in a black sweater. Bray is in tears over losing him in Rollins’ heinous attack. Abbey says he talked too much. Huskus says he introduced him to carrot cake. Mercy says he was great dinner but he’s starving. Bray says Rabbit always wanted an open casket… so he opens it up and Ramblin’ Rabbit has a big bloody hole in his head. Bray picks him up and is really sad that he never told him that he loved him.
He gives the fallen puppet a kiss, and then hears a bizarre noise. He sets it down, a graphic shines up and Ramblin’ Rabbit is back! This must be what always happens. Rabbit is raving about how crazy his experience was, when Mercy munches on him and starts chewing on him.
Drew Gulak vs. Kalisto
Bell rings and Gulak asks for a mic. He wants to reintroduce himself, and is already getting heat. He is a former WWE Cruiserweight Champion, he asks Kalisto to indulge him and wants to finish his original Powerpoint Presentation, this one focusing on how Braun Strowman can lose his match with Tyson Fury. It’s still Slide 1 of 345. He asks for Slide #2 and Kalisto just wheel kicks him. Back body drop attempt gets Gulak a kick in the face. Kalisto with the quick offense, hits the ropes, Gulak hoists him up and gets him with an amateur style spinebuster. Gulak is about to wrestle him down when Braun’s music hits and out he comes. As he’s making his way down the ramp, Kalisto hits the SDS and gets the easy win.
Winner: Kalisto
Braun then drags Gulak up by the hair. Big powerslam. Strowman grabs a mic as the crowd chants for “One more time”. Braun drops the mic and goes for it! Getting him quick and planting him with a Powerslam. Braun takes the mic back up and says this is what happens you disrespect him. But atleast this man deserves to be in this ring, unlike Tyson Fury. And that’s why at WWE Crown Jewel, he’s gonna send his ass back where he belongs when you get these hands.
Michael Cole is in the ring and introduces Daniel Bryan. Cole mentions that it’s been a rough couple of months for him, he was accused of several heinous things, his best friend Erick Rowan turned on him and was drafted to Raw. But he brings up that Daniel also pinned the IC Champion Shinsuke Nakamura and that when that happened, the arena erupted in Yes! chants. But Bryan was very reluctant to take part. He asks Bryan: is the Yes! Movement back?
Before Bryan can say anything, out comes Shinsuke and Sami. Sami says that on behalf of the Intercontinental Champion, he holds no ill feelings as to the fact that last week Bryan pinned him, in fact they found it pretty impressive. But before you answer Cole’s ridiculous question, he wants to show Bryan his own words from ‘just a couple of months ago’, and then they literally flash back to Last November to see the original New Daniel Bryan promo where he proclaims the Yes! Movement as dead.
Sami says that watching that footage broke my heart, because the people booed the end of the Yes! Movement, because people didn’t like the New Daniel Bryan. But Sami says that he’s know Bryan for a long time, and the New Daniel Bryan is in fact the Real Daniel Bryan. Sami says he really does care about the planet and the environment and these people really do just consume… Sami argues that Bryan has nothing in common with these people, but he does in fact have a lot in common with Sami and Shinsuke. Sami says he’s a vegan too, says that Nakamura-san cares about this planet.
But what they have in common the most is what they can do inside this ring, says all three of them are artists, and Bryan might be the best to ever do this. But right now his career is at a bit of a cross-roads. Sami says that Daniel can either go backwards and revive the Yes! Movement so the nitwits can chant “Yes, yes, yes” and of course they do… you could go back in time, or you can move on. You can move forward and join us! Sami promises that with the two of them by his side they can take his career to new heights, they could actually make the world a better place and offer him so much more than these people ever could! Sami asks Bryan if he wants to move backwards with them or forwards with us?
Sami offers Daniel his hand. Bryan considers it for a long while… then just walks between the two and makes it his leave from the ring to some cheers.
We see a story from Cancer Survivor Holly. She talks of her surgery, chemo, her hair falling out, and ultimately the appointments lessening.
Nikki Cross vs. Mandy Rose
Rose with an immediate discus elbow. Hair biels. Whips her to the ropes, Nikki ducks, spinning headscissors. Dual charge, Mandy with a big right hand for 2. Nikki struggles to get out of a Straitjacket Hold. Nikki fights up and elbows her way free, Mandy shoots her to the ropes, Nikki with a crossbody gets caught, Mandy walks around with her for a bit, Fallaway Slam gets 2! Nikki gets dumped to ringside, Mandy distracts the referee as Sonia lays Nikki out with a haymaker. Nikki whipped into the ring, Mandy covers for 2. Hair biel follows. Nikki blocks shots and gives several back. Running axe handles. Corner clothesline into a bulldog. Nikki goes up top, crossbody for 2. Sonia starts going onto the apron, Nikki with a baseball slide attempt, Sonia avoids it, Mandy with a roll-up, Nikki kicks out, this time nails the Baseball Slide, Nikki wants a running high knee but Nikki avoids it, Spinning Neckbreaker gets the fall.
Winner: Nikki Cross
Nikki stares Bayley down at ringside afterwards.
Cain’s backstage and turns out Rey’s with him after all. Very Hispanic, somewhat menacing music ushers Cain and Rey out. Rey, still with his arm in a sling, mentions that three weeks ago his son Dominik was attacked and beaten down in this very ring, but he’s shown Rey that he’s as tough as they come and he is a Mysterio. It was literally the worst day of his life, lying in the ring helpless, hearing his son suffer, not being able to help his own blood. But Dominik is doing better little-by-little. He knows that it’s due to the fan’s support and he wanted him to personally thank all of him. And no one, not even Brock Lesnar, will interfere with his dream of one day stepping into this ring as a WWE superstar.
Now about Lesnar… Viva la Mexico. For too damn long he’s done whatever he’s wanted to whoever he’s wanted. Calls Cain his familia and again promises that Cain will put a scar on the other side of his face. So let’s get his face-to-face. Heyman and Lesnar flash up on screen as Paul asks for tranquilo, calls Cain Velasquez the ultimate thug, a hired assassin, and you wanna go face-to-scarred-face a week out from Crown Jewel? Heyman says his client has other things to do tonight. Boos mount though Heyman yells for no booing. Asks if you can guess what Brock Lesnar has been doing tonight? Three guesses, tres, dos, uno? If you don’t wanna guess what, can you guess where?
Rey doesn’t wanna play games, just tells him to get out here. Heyman says Rey is seriously lacking conversational skills. If you won’t guess what or where, can you guess… to whom? To whom he’s been doing what he’s been doing? Well if they won’t play along, he asks Lesnar to give them a spoiler. Lesnar pulls up the limp Dominik, whose shirt is torn. Rey panics and he and Cain rush from the ring as we go to commercial.
We come back to see Dominik laying on a trainer’s table as a trainer asks to give him some space. Rey is lamenting this, falling to his knees… and Lesnar comes in out of nowhere throwing a garbage bin at Rey! He attacks Cain and the trainer… the injured Rey leaps up onto Brock, but he catches him onto his shoulders and F-5s him brutally into the wall! He hoists Cain up and F-5s him right onto Dominik, geeze.
Before our main event, we see Cain furious, cutting a promo on Brock in Spanish.
Shinsuke Nakamura, Cesaro & King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns, Shorty G & Ali
Heels quickly strike at the bell and force the faces to the outside, pummeling on the floor. Baron drags Roman into the ring and I guess they’re starting us out. Baron shoves him to the corner, rains down punches until Roman trips him up and he lands face first onto the top turnbuckle. Baron throws him away, but eats a big boot, samoan drop! Shinsuke tags in, Roman gets a big right hand, goes out to hit a Drive-By on Baron, back in to knock Shinsuke around. Tag to Shorty G who gets Nak in an arm wringer. Shinsuke rolls to counter, waistlock exchange, G wins out with an inverted headlock, tag to Ali. G gets a drop toe hold to setup a basement dropkick from Ali! Arm wringer. Dragon whip from Shinsuke, tag to Cesaro. Whips Ali to the corner, Ali flips out of a charge, hits the ropes, lands on his feet off a spinning headscissor! Cesaro with a deadlift gutwrench suplex!
Cesaro gets Ali in the corner and pummels him with body shots. Whips to the corner, Ali slips to the apron WWE Headkick leads to the roll-through X-Factor for a nearfall. Sami on the apron complaining to the ref, Shinsuke distracts Ali, Cesaro clotheslines him to the floor. Corbin with a running clothesline flips him over onto the floor, commercial break. Shinsuke with a roundhouse kick as we come back, snapmare, knee drop to Ali, cover for 2. Nakamura with a running elbow takes G to the floor. Cesaro tags in, whips Ali to the corner, Ali gets the boot up on a charge, comes off the second rope with a Tornado DDT attempt, Cesaro blocks and tosses him up but Ali counters with a sunset flip attempt, Cesaro stands his ground, grabs him by the neck and whips him up only to eat the Tornado DDT this time! Ali wants to tag to Reigns until Corbin whips around, pulls Roman down and throws him into the barrier.
Baron tags in, Short G gets back on the apron just as Ali is pulled away, step-up enziguri from Al and now Shorty G with the hot tag?! Series of uppercuts, back kick to the gut of Baron, Shinsuke runs in to get an exploder suplex! Shorty G now with the Rolling Liger Kick, leads to a swinging neckbreaker, beautiful moonsault off the top gets a nearfall! G gets Baron in the Ankle Lock, until Shinsuke runs in with a high kneeto break it up. Corbin takes G up top, tags in Shinsuke. They both go up top, looking for a Double Superplex! G knocks them to the canvas, Missile Dropkick wipes them both out! Simultags to Cesaro and Roman, Roman gets his roll-up into a Sit-Out Powerbomb for a nearfall! Roman with a Superman Punch, but Cesaro catches him, Giant Swing! Into the Sharpshooter, Reigns is in peril!
Ali comes in to break it up, Baron in to give him a big Deep Six, Shorty G running dropkick takes Baron to the floor, Inverted Suplex from Shinsuke, Superman Punch takes Nakamura out! Roman wants a Spear on Cesaro, countered into a Very European Uppercut! Cesaro tries for the Neutralizer, Back Body Drop to counter, Cesaro lands on his feet, goes for a springboard only to get Superman Punched out of the air! Big spear, tags in Ali, Superman Punches Corbin to the floor as Ali hits a 450 for the win!
Winners: Team Hogan
Fun stuff. For once the show goes all the way to the end of the hour.
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