Heya everybody, Jordan Huie of the Overtimer here for the live play-by-play for tonight’s edition of WWE SmackDown!
Daniel Bryan opens the show, his return to SmackDown! Christmas trees adorn the stage! Big “Yes” chant as he makes his way down the ramp. Huuuge “Daniel Bryan” chant as he stands in the ring. Bryan with a cheap pop putting over Brooklyn. Says over the past few weeks people have been asking what happened to him, where he went. He says he doesn’t really know. He felt it viscerally when the Fiend ripped out his beard and ripped out his hair and when he got cleaned up and looked in the mirror, what he really noticed was missing was this weird thing that he’d created, this Daniel Bryan brand. He didn’t think it was missing, but then he saw his little daughter and she was scared, she didn’t recognize him, because she’d never seen him without the Daniel Bryan beard. But he recognized it, as the man who never headlined WrestleMania and never made it to the WWE and had to scratch and claw for everything he ever had and that was the man who came into TLC and kicked Bray Wyatt’s ass! Pop. Bryan says Bray Wyatt changes people but he can change Bray Wyatt as well. Bray claims that he can’t feel pain, but Bryan says if Bray comes out here he’ll prove him wrong.
Miz emerges instead, says what happened to Bryan was terrible but Bray threatened his family, put puppets in his daughter’s bed. Says Bray has no family, but Miz wants to take the one thing he cherishes most, the Universal Championship. King Corbin out now. Baron mocks Miz for being scared for his daughter and takes a shot at Bryan’s daughter being scared at him looking like baby Yoda. He brings up defeating Kurt Angle in his farewell match at Mania, big heat, beating Roman at TLC, big heat… and we’re shown that briefly, only seeing his hand being raised rather than all the interference. Clip of the ring announcer declaring him winner is played three times. Baron says after beating Roman he’s the rightful No. 1 Contender and Bryan and Miz have not only failed at being WWE Superstars but they’ve failed as fathers!
Bryan and Miz share a glance and drop their mics, threateningly approaching Baron until Dolph Ziggler emerges to attack them from behind. Baron and Ziggler lay them out.
Tucker and Otis backstage with Interviewer Girl #2. Tucker brings up Cesaro slapping Otis’ ham last week. Otis says he loves giving out gifts, especially ham, mouthfuls of joy. Tucker pats on Otis’ chest, says his heart is the only vulnerable spot on his body. But then it turns out Mandy Rose drew Otis in the Secret Santa pool and after last week, she’s giving him a Christmas ham! Kiss on the cheek, big reaction from the crowd!
Miracle On 34th Street Fight: Heavy Machinery vs. The Revival
Bell rings, Revival throwing hands. Stereo irish whips, stereo kicks to reverse back body drops. Revival hit the ropes, stereo back body drops hit anyway! Dash with a hot shot on Otis, Dawson with a drop toe hold to the steps on Tucker! Double Back Suplex Facebuster bounces Knight’s face off the announce table! Revival see some cookies on a table nearby, they grab them up and shove them in Otis’ face. Revival knock the food and presents off the table, toss one of the oversized gift boxes at Otis. Revival with a double suplex trying to put Knight through a table but Otis stops this, tosses them away! Goes up to the apron, strips off his Santa jacket, but gets hit with the fumes of a fire extinguisher! This sets up a double team powerbomb off the apron taking him right through the table!
After a commercial break, we come back to see Tucker being driven through a giant present. He fights back best he can, takes down Dash but Dawson cuts him off. Hooks him for a suplex, Tucker reverses, sending Dawson onto the ramp! Dash backing up, holding a present, spins and drives it into the spine of Tucker! Dash looks inside. “Oh, just what I wanted, thanks Santa!” Pulls out a bowling ball! Rolls it down the ramp and geeze, looked like it actually bounced off his knee, that seemed painful as hell. Dash puts on one of the Santa coats, they put a Christmas Tree up in the corner, Tucker evades a charge and Dash crotches himself on the tree? Sure. Tucker takes Dawson outside, but gets a back elbow, fire extinguishers to the gut, Dash and Dawson toss Tucker onto the table and the ham goes flying! Dramatic zoom in on the ham. “Use the ham” chant.
Dawson holds it up in the air… just tosses it against the floor. Otis sees this… comes back to life, grabs Dawson by the throat! Dash with a candy cane kendo stick to the back, but Otis no sells! BIG EXPLODER SENDS DASH THROUGH A CHRISTMAS TREE! Otis gets Dawson into the ring, bounces him off the corner, back body drop! Exploder! Otis goes out, grabs something from under the ring. It’s a black bag? Goes into the ring to empty them OH MY GOD THE LEGOS?! Unbelievable!! Big pop! SCOTT DAWSON POWERSLAMMED ONTO THE LEGOS! They’re sticking in his back!! Yeow! Otis gets Dash onto his shoulders Electric Chair style, hoists Dawson up too?! Fallaway Slam/Electric Chair takes out both men to a huge pop! And now, The Caterpillar!!! Tucker returns in time to hit the Compactor!
Winners: Heavy Machinery
I feel I can safely call that the best Miracle On 34th Street Fight of all time. Nice to see Heavy Machinery get a big win for once.
Afterwards, Otis wallows over his ham. He sees Mandy and Sonya, apologizes to Rose for what happened to the ham. She says it’s alright and gives him a hug, which is stunning to him. But when she backs away, her dress is now covered in his sweat. She walks off, disgusted.
Revival in the ring talking about the garbage around the ring. They disparage ladder matches, Christmas trees and legos, every week it’s a different gimmick and it’s a joke, a joke at their expense. What happened to good old fashioned tag team wrestling? Dawson says that’s the problem, wrestling! Now we’re in the glitzy, glamory world of Sports Entertainment! This draws out Elias. Asks who wants to Walk With Elias? Starts up a song. Says they want to be the best tag team but what would be the best is if they just went away. They’ve died a thousand deaths, always coming up short. Made her grandma watch a match of theirs and now she’s on life support. You wanna be top guys, you wanna be front and center. You’re gonna have to make a big change, kinda like Kaitlyn Jenner. This gets gasps, no idea why this was said.
Sami Zayn drew Braun Strowman’s name in Secret Santa this year, suggests mitts. Is curious as to what to get him. Braun finds this comical considering all he’s done is chastise the holidays. Sami tries to plead his case, Braun stands up, Cesaro and Shinsuke come in to ask if there’s a problem. Sami says he’s just trying to be nice and get him a gift. Braun says if you want to give him a gift, how about a shot at the Intercontinental championship? Sami acts like he’d love to but they have a big tag match tonight, so that’ll need a raincheck.
Carmella vs. Sonya Deville
Carmella bursts out of the corner with a clothesline. Spin kick to the gut, thrust kick to the face. Awkward Reverse STO takes Deville into the Cone Of Silence and that’s all.
Winner: Carmella
Sure okay.
New Day emerge during Carmella’s celebration and she dances along with them on the stage as they come out.
Another Sheamus vignette. At this rate it looks like he won’t actually return until 2020.
Wow, Cesaro has a fancy 3D graphic now and it’s probably the coolest one. Not that this is saying a lot.
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions, The New Day vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro (c)
Kofi ducks a shot from Shinsuke, thrust kick to the gut, dropkick off the second rope, cover for a quick kickout. Whip to the ropes, Cesaro with a blind tag, Shinsuke throws Kofi into a european uppercut, Backstabber from Shinsuke! Cover for a nearfall. Deadlift Gutwrench Suplex! Cover for a nearfall. Nakamura tags back in, holds Kofi down, wants a Reverse Powerslam but Kofi escapes, tag to Big E who comes in with a plethora of Belly To Belly Suplexes! E hits the ropes, big splash! Gets the people clapping along. Shinsuke with a roundhouse kick, ducked, Dragon Whip nails E! Corner charge, E counters with his Uranage, cover, Cesaro has to break up the pin! Right hand to Kofi, but he gets monkey flipped over the top rope! Kofi hits the ropes, huge tope! Shinsuke with a roundhouse kick to the head of E, he bails, Cesaro with a huge charging lariat! Shinsuke takes E into the ring, running knee to the head from the floor. Shinsuke drives E into the steps, commercial break.
We come back, E shoves Cesaro away but Nakamura tags in. Big E amazingly is the guy being isolated now, Nakamura with a flying knee off the second rope. Setting up for the Kinsasha… dashes, E with a huge clothesline flips Nakamura over! Simultaneous tags, Kofi in hot, series of flying clotheslines, up top, flying spinning headscissors! Big dropkick for a nearfall! Ducks a clothesline, hits a big flying one of his own. Hits the ropes, Boom Drop! Gets people clapping along, Trouble In Paradise but Cesaro counters with a Very European Uppercut, E has to break up the pin! E clotheslines Cesaro to the floor. Kofi hits the ropes, E pops him up, tope! Kofi back in, springboard crossbody for a nearfall! Shinsuke bounces E off the apron, Cesaro gets the Giant Swing on Kofi! Caps it off with a double foot stomp to the chest for a nearfall! Neutralizer, Kofi back body drops him out of it, very snug inside cradle follows and Kofi gets the win!
Winners: The New Day
Solid stuff, but these two could definitely be on a much higher level.
Afterwards, Sami, Shinsuke and Cesaro jump Kofi and E. They beat them down until Braun Strowman emerges to make the save! Shinsuke and Cesaro double team him but Braun dispatches of each of them, avalanche crash to Shinsuke in the corner, charge around the ring shoulderblock to Cesaro! Back into the ring, wants the Powerslam on Shinsuke but Sami comes in and pulls him out of harm’s way!
Backstage, Miz says since he never got the chance to tell him, he’s thankful that Bryan saved him from that assault from Bray. Bryan says he didn’t do it for him, he did it for his own sake. But as a father, he’s really sorry for what he’s gone through. They then state that personally, they still don’t like each other and actually argue over who dislikes the other more.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Snapmare from Bayley, hair trip. Big driving knee against the bottom buckle! Stomps her into the corner. Bayley slaps Dana around, calls her stupid. Chokes her in the second rope, Sasha Banks berates her from ringside. Bayley gets her in a chinlock. Back Suplex, Dana escapes, step-up enziguri! Goes up top, Senton, cover, Bayley grabs the bottom rope to escape! Dana drags her up, series of Short-arm Clotheslines, takes her into the corner, Dana literally shouts her own name, handspring back elbow! Ducks an elbow from Bayley, shoulder tackle! Hits the ropes, Cartwheel Splash for a nearfall! Bayley ducks a shot, Facebuster for the win.
Winner: Bayley
Welp. Dana got to do a little more but not much longer of a match and beaten clean as a sheet again.
Afterwards, Bayley and Sasha double team Dana until Lacey Evans makes the save and the heels have to bail. Lacey calls Sasha a big bully with no backbone, challenges her to a match right here and right now. Wants to make her a legit loser.
Back from commercial, match is made.
Lacey Evans vs. Sasha Banks
Lacey slams Sasha’s head into the second buckle over and over, Sasha reverses and does the same. Meteora to the back of the head, cover for 2. Suplex for two, arm wringer. There’s like a simultaneous dropkick spot but Sasha makes contact and Lacey doesn’t, so only Lacey sells. Meteora in the ring, cover for 2. Lacey with a boot out of the corner. Whip reversed into the corner, Sasha charges, Lacey evades. Pulls Sasha out onthe apron, Sasha with a kick, blocked, Lacey trips her to the apron! Springing Dropkick takes Sasha to the floor, great looking spot! Slams Sasha’s face onto the floor, throws her away. Bayley charges from behind, Lacey teases the Women’s Right to make her collapse! Sasha attacks from behind, Lacey’s family is here because we still haven’t played on this stuff enough. Aaaaand double countout as Sasha continues attacking Lacey and berating her daughter.
Winner: Nobody
Lacey attacks Sasha, Bayley gets tossed away, Dana Brooke and Bayley trying to pull Lacey off of Sasha.
King Corbin & Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan & The Miz
Bryan and Miz argue before the match but nonetheless act completely on the same page when the bell rings, charging at their opponents for strikes, and they have a fun spot where they hit every single blow of the Stereo Yes Kicks! Commercial break. When we come back, the heels get the heat segment going, Daniel Bryan is being isolated. Baron tags in, charging clothesline in the corner. Drags him out, shot to the face, working over the left arm of Bryan. Baron takes him up top, Bryan with a headbutt, missile dropkick! Simultaneous tags, Miz throwing hands to Ziggler, takes him into the corner, Miz Clothsline! Big boot deflects Corbin, sliding Sunset Flip for 2, Snap DDT! Corbin breaks up the pin, but eats the Skull Crushing Finale. Ziggler with a Flying DDT! Nearfall. Miz takes Dolph to the mat for the Figure Four Leglock! Bryan with a Buisaku Knee to Corbin… Ziggler surprisingly taps!
Winners: Daniel Bryan & The Miz
Wow they started this match way later than planned I think, that was a surprisingly short match.
Bryan, Miz and Baron will be facing each other in a No. 1 Contendership triple threat next week, which also feels like a very rushed announcement, and after the match the lights go down and Bray’s laughter echoes through the arena to close us out.
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